Arnie Versus Chad: Hercules Goes to California

Arnie Versus Chad: Hercules Goes to California

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced this evening on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that he will run in California's gubernatorial recall election. All week, his advisers have suggested that Arnie was leaning against the idea of becoming a candidate. With great skill, they had successfully created the kind of suspense more worthy of a Hollywood movie trailer.

I can't really comment on the merits of Arnie's candidacy. But to his credit, the guy's involved himself in politics for several years now, and was integral to the creation of a recent education bill. For the most part, he's avoided invoking his silver screen celebrity in relation to his political campaign. As the late historian, Michael Rogin, observed, former US president Ronald Reagan shamelessly reworked lines from his own movies, without acknowledging that they were quotations, into what were ostensibly his most spontaneous moments in the political arena. (Asked to respond to Rogin's claim, then-White House speechwriter Anthony Dolan declared, "What he's really saying is that all of us are deeply affected by a uniquely American art form: the movies." Uh-huh.) But Arnie would have little luck trying to exploit his screen image -- which is traditionally characterized by silent heroic violence -- into his political persona. And that's because politics necessarily involves, well, talking. Note Arnie's decidedly un-Terminator-like prolixity in his interview with Jay Leno: ""The politicians are fiddling, fumbling and failing... The man that is failing the people more than anyone is Gray Davis. He is failing them terribly, and this is why he needs to be recalled and this is why I am going to run for governor." Arnie may not be the most articulate person in the world, but he is nonetheless a talker.

So everyone, brace yourself for bad Arnie jokes to saturate the world's newspapers and news segments. Arnie, the Governator? Californian Election 2, Rise of the Publicity Machine? Conan the Politician? Gray Davis and Arnie: are they Twins? Is it the end of Gray, or End of Grays, or Judgement Gray? To be sure, Arnie is the Last Action Hero on matters pertaining to energy. Is this election a Total Recall? (On the environment: "De peepul need dair air!") Moreover, when it comes to imports from foreign countries, he'll be Mr. Freeze. And where education and crime are concerned, he'll always be the Kindergarten Cop. Yes, I think that'll do for now.