Addressing all Potentials

Addressing all Potentials

Hello all. Keith and I had dinner yesterday, and it was fun catching up with each other after the crazy past month. While we were in Gloria Jean's on Oxford St, wallowing in our respective troubles, we spotted a group of young twinks that had apparently just come from Fun & Esteem -- a free course designed to introduce young gay men to each other and let them talk about basic issues of acceptance, identity, dating, safe-sex, and so on. Since our old school is fairly close to Oxford St, Keith and I began to wonder about all the students there who remain closeted, who are either unable to out themselves or unaware of their sexuality. No doubt they're frightened by homophobes on the one hand, and radical gay social constructivists ('monogamy is a heterosexual norm, my sexuality is performative and fluid and therefore not not easily labelled, I can basically have sex with anyone I want') on the other.

These young men are potentials, possessing the basic instincts (gaydar, fashion sense, general sensitivity) of the Slayer (Keith/ Faith, Adrian/ Buffy). Following this revelation, the dramatis personae of the Buffyverse tumbled forth. Our high school is the Hellmouth. Its crest is the Seal of Danthalzar. My thesis supervisor is a Watcher. Colin Farrell can be Angel. I'd rather not have a Riley or Spike. Sea of Ug Ugh is Xander. (Gay up, Sea! Let's gay!) Our former high school teacher, Ms Smyrnis, is Glory. Peter Jensen is Caleb. Judy Garland is the First Slayer. There are plenty of bears at Taylor Square vying for the part of Oz, the werewolf. Patrolling Oxford St -- where 70 year olds have fake tans and look permanently young and undead -- is just another term for cruising. And on Oxford St, there are plenty of solariums that might be called 'The Bronze'. Armed only with our Mr. Pointys, Keith and I will banish untrendy people everywhere and rescue the potentials from their life of exclusion. We will all be Chosen Ones. To those potentials awaiting activation, I say this: "If you might be gay, you will be gay... Make your choice. Will you be strong?"

I'm sure you can see how this sort of time-wasting makes Keith and me feel immeasurably better about everything.