Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Feeding the addiction
I went to my crack dealer again (a.k.a. the St Leonards newsagency). I came out with issues of "Genre" and "Spruce*".

Fash and fag mag tally for April: at least 8.
In my attempt to drum up some publicity for this dreary little blog (and become the attention-seeking media whore that I am destined to be), I submitted my URL to Google the other week.

Traffic has slowly come this way, via some surprising search requests. From the looks of it, most won't give a rat's arse about the site (which is both predictable and understandable). As a sign of kindness, I'll try to help future stray e-travellers along the way, to their preferred destination:
  1. Bradley Tomberlin.
    Better luck at the UK "Men's Health" website, recommended by CreatineMonster.
  2. What brand of clothing does Felicity wear?
    Don't know, but she sure does wear a lot of turtle necks, doesn't she?
  3. Abercrombie & Fitch MTV Asian student protest.
    I didn't blog on this topic, but do check out Ernie's and Aaron's.
  4. Abercrombie guys streaking/college streaking flashing photo.
    Jeez, I only mentioned it once! Dudes off Campus may be your liking...
  5. Sexy Cathay Pacific girls.
    Hmm... interesting. Well, they do help you arrive in better shape, right? Check out the nightlife threads on Icered for places where these trolley-dollys hang out in Hong Kong.
Woohoo! I recieved a reply from Professor Sherman. No mention of the mark, but he did congratulate me on the pending graduation. The Faculty of Law is currently processing the result through...

Sunday, April 28, 2002

Boys on the Side + Pepsi commercial = Crossroads
*Deep breath in.* I absolutely lurved Crossroads! From the opening number, with a tighty-whitey-ed Britney bouncing along to Madonna's Open Your Heart in her bedroom (haven't we all done that?), to the credit-rolling, Overprotected, the film is pure fairy floss fun! Those cynically-minded (and I'm a card-carrying member) may bemoan over watching 2 hours of blatant Britney promotion, but doesn't every second Hollywood release these days make a conspicuous attempt at flogging off film-related merchandise and/or a whole string of crappy sequels?

Crossroads truly transcends its obvious flaws (weak plot, predictableness, etc...) and accentuates its impressive assets (notably, Britney's ample bosoms and her "not a girl, not yet a woman" innocent-but-can-be-v.-naughty nymphet persona). Her performance is surprisingly competent (is that a compliment?), the cast has great chemistry, her wardrobe is fabu, Anson Mount is a hottie and the sing-along moments to Shezza Crowe et al. are outrageously fun.

Of the teen movies of late, Crossroads is definitely one of the better ones. QED

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

From Dark Horizons:
It seems mandatory these day for animated feature films to have impressive casts. Dreamwork's Sinbad will have Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joseph Fiennes and Michelle Pfeiffer as character voices.

It had to happen... Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy are all returning for a Shrek sequel. Apparently, the plot is v. Meet the Parents-ish, with Princess Fiona's parents inviting the newly-weds to their kingdom, called Far Far Away. Ha!
From the pages of Jerwin Maximo - a great website for those who are Madonna-inclined.

I love the pictures posted on April 7. It's Madonna with a couple of adorable cuties... Guy and Rocco, of course.
Graduation status: pending
I emailed Professor Sherman concerning the exam results of my summer session subject. I haven't received my final grade yet, and I have begun to worry a bit (which I always do). My graduation, next month, is riding on the result.

I've contacted the Faculty of Law administration about my concerns, but they're maintaining a hard-arsed position. My graduand status will be denied, until they receive the results of this final subject. What's disconcerting is that others have already received their graduation pack (early this month), including tickets to the ceremony, etc. It seems all I can do is fiddle my thumbs and wait...

The bloody ceremony is on May 17.

Tuesday, April 23, 2002

Bought a pair of v. unflattering Birkenstock sandals. Their unappealing aesthetics are redeemed (just) by their incredible comfiness (Somehow, I know this comment will come back and bite me in the arse... it doesn't mean wearing tracksuit bottoms in public is acceptable, people!). I have not removed them, since putting them on at home, this arvo.

Monday, April 22, 2002

Woohoo! The US adaption of Queer as Folk will screen on free-to-air TV later this year.

Saturday, April 20, 2002

Lesson for us all
From RollonFriday:
A Danish man became all too aware of the dangers of farting near electrical appliances, after his arse and genitals caught fire during a routine surgical operation. A spark from the electric knife, used to remove a mole on the man's derriere, ignited the gaseous emissions. It caused his entire arse region, which had been coated in surgical spirit, to go up in flames.

The man is now suing the hospital.

Friday, April 19, 2002

Love affair with retail (not)
The Co-op Bookstore shits me! I ordered a Chinese language text book last October and willingly paid a $40 deposit on the book (apparently, it's store policy). Quite reaonably, I thought it would only take a couple of weeks for them to receive inventory, since the store did cater for the university. But no, it takes them much, much longer...

The language class ended a while ago. Maybe there was some contributory tardiness on my part, as I didn't hassle them about the order. But during all this time, I was still prepared to get the book, as it would be quite invaluable in my attempt to learn Mandarin. So, I kept waiting.

I get a phone call last month (!) telling me the book has arrived. It's the story of great Australian retail service...
Mike Nichols has begun filming a mini-series version of Tony Kushner's Angels in America for HBO in NYC. The cast includes Al Pacino, Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep.

Fortunately, Barbra is not in sight.
Poison pen
Boy, was the Scorpion King a shocker! I had terribly low expectations for the movie - nothing more than a couple of hours of mindless slash-fest fun. But sadly, even those expectations were not met.

The Rock, living up to his namesake, emoted as much as a pebble. Kelly Hu, as the sorceress, was nothing more than the cliched damsel-in-distress. She wore a lot less than Kylie did, in that Julien McDonald number, in the CGYOOMH video. The fight scenes and SFX were only mediocre. With all the bad acting and unexciting fight scenes, the film would have been redeemed if there was a bit of humour, some tongue-in-cheeck, like Xena. Alas, it was pure cheese.

I should have gone to see Crossroads instead...
Britney appears
*Blink* and she was gone. Britney Spears made a v. brief visit to Sydney, to flog her film, Crossroads...

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Nothing to frown upon
CM must be pleased. The American FDA has approved the use of botox for cosmetic purposes.

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

Laissez-moi vous voir danser!
Recently, I have developed an appetite for French dance music. From the land, that produced musical offerings such as Daft Punk, Grand Popo Football Club, Mirwais and Air, comes the tasty treat of Dimitri from Paris. In "After the Playboy Mansion", Dimitri has mixed a v. delicious cocktail blend of retro grooves, funky basslines and sexy house beats. The album comes, a couple of years, after his popular "A Night at the Playboy Mansion".

Serving suggestions: ATPM is preferably consumed as a nightcap or an aperitif to an evening of dancing (both vertical and otherwise!).
Oh my lordy!
London tabloid, the Sun, has some sweet photos of the next instalment of the LOTR's trilogy, including the dashing David Wenham as Faramir.

Monday, April 15, 2002

Mental rubbish
Some trivial stuff that has been floating around in my mind recently:

Glenn Murcutt will be awarded the Pritzker Prize for architecture this year. Notable recipients in previous years have included Frank Gehry, IM Pei, Renzo Piano, Norman Foster and Rem Koolhaas. Glenn went to UNSW.

Madonna has a Panic Room.

Tyler Brule was the special guest speaker at Design Ex in Darling Harbour on the weekend.

Saturday, April 13, 2002

Wills assignments
Hooray! I have finally submitted my first (of many) College of Law assessible assignments! Of course, like Paul McCartney et al., I couldn't have done it without a little help from my (learned legal) friends. You know who you are...
Summer fashion discourse
‘Twas a gloriously warm and clear autumn day in Sydney. I made my first attempt at new season fashion shopping with CreatineMonster. Alas, I was unsuccessful in my retail adventure. I didn’t see anything decent, so I didn’t purchase a single thing. The black leather-trim cardigan that I had an eye on at Calibre had sold out (already!).

Nevertheless, the whole expedition gave me some fashion food-for-thought (is that an oxymoron?). Checking out the people on the streets, still with their bare limbs and sexy tans, made me reflect on the major trends on the streets this past summer:
  1. Distressed Denim. It's everywhere and on everyone. How long will it last? Like the NASDAQ in the mid-nineties, there seems to be no stopping this runaway trend. Sooner or later, there is going to be a "market adjustment" and even I will have to toss out my beloved jeans. Which brings me on to…
  2. Diesel Clothing. Their Australian flagship store just opened on the old Albury Hotel (famed for its drag shows and hunky barmen) site on Oxford St. Do people remember when the brand was exclusively worn by homosexual men in the mid-90's? I love their NYC store on Lexington Ave, with their cute, alternate sales assistants… oops, I digress. Now, it's every boys de rigueur denim.
  3. Customised Clothing. The trend that Madonna created, with her individualised Kylie (at the MTV Europe Awards) and Britney T-shirts. When it’s done well, it looks fabulous. Unfortunately, there are a few walking disasters. Scenario: some girl takes a brilliant idea of DIY fabulousness, a pair of scissors and a T-shirt or sweater and ends up looking like She-Hulk, post-green ‘roid rage.
  4. Low-Riding Hipsters. Like box-cutter knives and karaoke microphones, this garment is extremely dangerous in the wrong hands... or should I say thighs. There are always great jokes to be had, sitting behind some gal (and the occasional guy) with bum cleavage and dowdy knickers showing. With the concurrent shortening of tops, there has been an explosion of...
  5. Bare Midriffs. Although it may look sen-saysh on Britney, it does not translate well on mere mortals. Alas, one has to sympathise. Some girls try so v. hard, but jelly bellies can be such ungodly sights. Sad, but true.
  6. Numbers. Yes, I’m guilty as charged for perpetuating this trend. I’ll wear an 88, but 69 has been soo over-done.
  7. Stripey Shirts. Such a London hetero boy look, when paired with a pair of khakis. Is that the attraction?
  8. Funky T-shirts. A guy on Oxford St today wore a tight one, emblazoned with "Bunk Mates". I was tempted to say, "How about me?", when I walked past. I still love a good slogan or two.
  9. Cowboy and Western. Madonna does it again! On the right guy, he exudes sexy machismo. On me, I look like a dork.
  10. Julius the Monkey. I loved this Paul Frank creation... 9 months ago. Now, every second girl is a Julius devotee. He's like the Hello Kitty of Sydney. Next!
  11. Thongs (ie. “flip-flops”, not string bikini bottoms). Nice look, when paired with old jeans and a T. But why do so many girls wear them after dark? That is so wrong.
  12. Muscle Shirts and Singlets (ie. "wife-beaters"). Saving the best to last. Such a lovely sight, when accompanied by a pair of broad, toned and tanned shoulders. It’s the best thing about summer. I am so going to miss the sight!

Friday, April 12, 2002

Separated at birth?
The notorious Perth socialite Rose Hancock Porteous and the irrepressible diva Miss Piggy.

One is an aging, filthy rich, flashy, tasteless, cabaret-singing swine and the other is a muppet. And of course, both are gay icons.

Thursday, April 11, 2002

Yeah baby!
According to USA Today, MGM has finally agreed to allow New Line to call the upcoming third instalment of Austin Power's celluloid adventures "Goldmember".

Interestingly, if the deal to licence MGM's intellectual property had fallen through, New Line were ready to use one of a list of alternate titles that were equally entertaining and risque. These titles had previously been approved of, as within the bounds of legitimate parody.

So what were the alternatives? "Live and Let Shag", "You Only Shag Thrice", "Never Say Member Again" and "License to Shag"!

Tuesday, April 09, 2002

Entertainment news
Some interesting tidbits from Dark Horizons:

During an interview on British Channel Sky One, Britney Spears confirmed that she plays herself, as the girlfriend of Mini Me, in the upcoming Austin Powers sequel.

David Fincher may be directing the second sequel to Mission Impossible.

Jennifer Garner will reprise her role as Noel's ex-girlf, Hannah, in the last episode of Felicity. *sob*

Monday, April 08, 2002

Carolina on my mind
I could not believe it, when I read it. Carolina had the worst year EVER in its men's basketball history, with an incredibly depressing season record of 8-20 (ACC 4-12). After 27 consecutive NCAA tournament bids, they failed to make it this season. Absolutely friggin' abysmal!

The only sliver of decent news on March Madness is that a fellow ACC team won the championship... and it wasn't Duke! Congrats to Maryland, the perennial bridesmaids of the ACC. The Terrapins won their first NCAA title against Indiana last week.

On brighter news, varsity women's soccer seems to be in v. good shape. After their commendable 24-1 season in 2001 (where their only loss came in the NCAA final against Santa Clara), Anson Dorrance has reloaded with, what Soccer America has considered, "the best college women's soccer class of 2002". Like every other Tar Heel, I'm expecting their 18th national title by the end of the season, or else...

This will probably be my one and only sports blog for the year (excluding future references to the aesthetic qualities - and not paying ability - of some particular athlete).

You are Fozzie!
Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you're a great friend and can always be counted on.

... and I thought I was Miss Piggy!
College work
This is terrible. I have not done any work for Practical Legal Training in the last couple of weeks and it has left me v. far behind in my course work. Now, I have to catch up on two weeks of *quelle horreur* accounting and bookkeeping. Fortunately, no assignments on the topics were due.

The work this week is exclusively on Wills and Probate. Two assignments are due on Friday, amounting to 100% of the subject grade. I better get a move on with the work, quick-smart...

Sunday, April 07, 2002

Confessions of a magazine whore
Within the last week (since Friday, to be exact), I have bought five magazines: "FHM Collections", "Attitude", "DNA", "Men" and "Blue". All up, I spent around $60. I restrained myself from purchasing two additional titles: "Spruce" (air courier issue - $27.50) and "Wallpaper*" ($18.00). I swear I will not buy another magazine in the next month. Alright, two weeks seems more manageable...

Saturday, April 06, 2002

Nice work if you can get it
Working at the Royal Easter Show has made me consider some of the cool and/or unusual jobs that I'ld love to try a hand (and maybe some other body parts) at. OK, some on the list are downright weird:
  1. Exam invigilator for some obscure subject, like SESC6110 Physical Principles of Safety 1.
  2. Starbucks barista
  3. HMV/Sanity sales clerk
  4. Ryan Zane's fluffer
  5. front desk guy/towel distributor at a gay sauna
  6. stylist for an "Out" fashion editorial
  7. model spotter
  8. researcher for the Cassandra Report
  9. seat filler at the Oscars
  10. Gap store greeter
  11. nightclub clipboard nazi
  12. creative director of a Mardi Gras float
  13. international man of mystery

Friday, April 05, 2002

Gay Hong Kong
It isn't surprising that Hong Kong society is incredibly conservative. Like other East Asian states, a large proportion of Chinese Hong Kongers believe in maintaining "face" in the community. Thus, many find it difficult to be frank and "open" to others on personal issues, which may cause the person to "lose" face. Predictably, many are not openly "out" about their sexuality.

This is an incredibly simplified explanation of why the "gay community" of Hong Kong remains largely invisible, restricted to clubs and sex venues. Moreover, this presence, or lack of it, has been compounded by the general absence of political action or protest.

However, I was both pleasantly surprised of the actions of two queer friends. Recently, Yeo Wai-wai and Tommy Chen married, in a cross-dressing ceremony, to highlight the issue of unequal treatment of gays and lesbians in Hong Kong. Although consensual homosexual sex is legal in Hong Kong, same-sex couples are ineligible to marry and subsequently receive the financial and social benefits of matrimony. Their sham marriage was part of a program by the gay rights group, Rainbow, to help same-sex couples obtain social benefits, particularly subsidised rental housing for lower incomer-earners. The group plans to match up other gay and lesbian couples in a similar way. Bloody awesome! Fridae
End of the Show
Pheww! The Show went out with more of a wimper, than a bang. The last two days were highly undramatic and v. boring, to say the least. The only memorable event was when three young and buff guys streaked under the Olympic Cauldron fountain. It was something akin to the Abercrombie & Fitch photo illustration on campus streaking in the Fall 1998 issue.

I have a confession to make. I succumbed to the temptation and bought a showbag. OK, it was actually two, to be exact: a "Men's Health" sample bag ($15.00) and a "Good Taste" sample bag ($2.50).

The "Men's Health" bag consisted of various healthy snack products, toiletry samples and three magazines - a current issue of "Rolling Stone", a past issue of "Men's Health" (with one of Creatine Monster's "husband" - Bradley Tomberlin - on the cover) and an ancient issue of "Empire" (Charlie's Angels! Is it legal to be flogging off such an old issue?). The "Good Taste" bag had an assortment of sample foodstuffs and two recent issues of the foodie magazine. Food porn always gets to me.

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

This was the first conversation I had with a fellow co-worker, Penrith girl. I would have been seriously offended by her ignorant comments, if I wasn't more horrified by her stupidity:
Penrith girl: You're really tall for an Asian. Are you fully Asian?
Keith: Umm...I'm not really that tall. Besides, there are plenty of Asians who are as tall as me or taller.
Penrith girl: No, the Asians I know are short. You must be part Aussie [sic].
Keith: No, I'm not part white. You're crazy...
Penrith girl: I think your white and just pretending to be Asian...

There appears to be a good reason why the company doesn't place females on the inflatables stand:
Male customer: Could you please inflate it a bit harder?
Jenn: No, this is as big and hard as it gets, if you're planning to hit someone with it. If I inflated the bat anymore, it's going to burst.
Male customer: Big and hard, then soft and limp... just like me really.
Jenn: You're disgusting!

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

Easter long weekend
The crowds on Good Friday were bloody huge, with more than 135,500 passing through the Showgrounds. It was absolutely manic at the store. In previous days, customers came in waves, with short quiet periods, when demand ebbed. But on Friday, the crowds were like no other. We got through at least 10 boxes of Shrek dolls and our inventory was in a v. sad state by early evening. I did 14 hours that day and was absolutely buggered by the end of it.

Thankfully, Saturday and Sunday were a bit more quieter. Everyone is feeling completely buggered, despite the fact that we are only half way through the Show.